Blog

October, 2020
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The Old Sage and The Kid

I was in a noon Twelve-Step meeting, crying so hard I couldn’t talk when it came my turn to share. There was a pain in my stomach that felt like it was going to reach up to my throat and strangle me any minute.  I was going through my second divorce and my co-dependency had a death grip on me. The room was filled with older men, I was the...Read More
October, 2020
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Healing; It’s an Inside Job

My friend Sue had been to see this astrologist, which I thought was a total load of crap. She was totally enamored by the lady and the session she had with her. She couldn’t wait to tell me all that she had been told and how right on it was from the lady, (Mary) by just reading her chart. I was not impressed and I thought my friend had been...Read More
October, 2020
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Finding My Heart

A WORLD ALTERED BY PASSION  I had never been able to grow anything, even though my father was known for his green thumb. My Dad could take the scraggliest plant and transform it into a thriving green wonder. I had always been fascinated with his knack for it, but try as I might, it just never seemed to work for me.  At the age of thirty, I got my first...Read More
October, 2020
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My Life With Mental Health Issues

Breaking Through the Stigmas I was waiting my turn at the podium. I was actually sweating and nervous as could be.  I had spoken many times before and usually really enjoyed it. This time was different. I knew that I had to share some things I had never shared before.  It was a twelve-step meeting and many of the people in that room knew me. I think I can honestly...Read More
October, 2020
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Peace of Mind: Our One True Goal

“Peace of mind is the only thing that deserves your true vigilance.” I first heard these words over thirty years ago. I have believed ever since then that I originally read them in A Course in Miracles but I have not been able to find them there. Therefore, I do not know exactly where I first heard or read them. What I do know is, once I heard them, they...Read More
September, 2020
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Teachers, Mentors and Saviors: The Bonds That Lift Us Up

“I should have kissed her. I should have let her know that her only son and youngest child loved her before she passed. I should not have just walked away.” Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I said those words for the first time to Callie, my new therapist, who was also the facilitator of the A Course in Miracles class I had just started attending. My mom had...Read More
September, 2020
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Decisions; How one small decision can change your life forever

As a very small boy, I adored and idolized my father.  He was stronger than Superman and just the best dad ever.  I felt protected and safe with him.  And all I ever wanted, as that small boy, was to grow up to be just like him.  Through the eyes of a child, the world appears as you would have it be, for a while. When I was five years...Read More
September, 2020
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Uncertainty: And its Path to Trust

‘Someday, someway Johnnie you will see the gift in this.’ Periodically, those words would echo throughout my mind as I lay in the fetal position on the floor, with a pain in the pit of my stomach that was immobilizing, an obsession with suicide that was inescapable, all the while sobbing like a baby and not one small sign of hope. That was my life for two years. I had...Read More
September, 2020
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Boys Don’t Cry

Defying the Traditional Definition of Manhood It was mid-April 1964 in a small town in KY. I was 5 years old; my mom had just passed and I kept hearing, “You know, Johnnie hasn’t even cried.” Usually, followed with, “Well, boys don’t cry.” It was as if not crying for my mom was something to be proud of. There was a physical pain in my chest that was unbearable. There...Read More
September, 2020
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Stop Giving into the Mental Beast of your Mind, and Slay your Thoughts

I am Johnnie Calloway.  I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic.  I have been diagnosed with severe PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, clinical depression, and anxiety disorder, which resulted in severe panic attacks. I have been homeless twice, and experienced at least 4 suicide attempts, where I consciously tried to end my life because I viewed my existence as one long death wish. With the amount of drugs I was using,...Read More