Why do we fear to look within? What is it that we never want to see? Remember, we do not see what we look at, but we do see what we look for. Our minds are not trained well enough yet, to know how to look within with loving eyes, and therefore look inward with the fearful eyes of the ego, which is always looking for ways to build upon our guilt-ridden ideas of ourselves.
Perhaps one of the most giant blocks to peace; The belief that God is angry, and our lives are a result of His sentence. It takes great effort to look upon our guilt without the anticipation of God’s wrath and His punishment. Deep within is the assumption that if we do not behave properly, we will suffer and suffer by the hand of God.
Therefore, we work diligently to keep hidden all the things we feel guilty about. Again, the fear of facing our fears and guilt are all the root causes of our addictions, obsessions, and even most of our goals. We create them as a distraction and use them to avoid our feelings. So, the question becomes; Why are we so afraid to look our feelings in the eye with an open mind? Our internal teacher, which we all do have, knows that our feelings, and the discovery of the thoughts that produce them, are the key to the unlocked door that reveals the truth. WE ARE LOVE!
I am in no way disputing this. Still, I must ask myself, ‘Are my goals to benefit me alone, or will attaining my goals be a blessing to all?’ If my goals are self-serving, they have the great potential of becoming a distraction or avoidance of looking within. One might say, ‘But goals are necessary, both in my work life and in my personal life.”
Many read this last paragraph and recoil out of fear of finding a level of selfishness they do not wish to look upon. Do not let this frighten you; selfishness and self-centeredness are a part of the human condition. The true goal would be to learn to look upon it with the loving and forgiving eyes of God, not the guilt-seeking eyes of the ego.
The mental training this process requires takes dedication, commitment, vigilance and, determination. To attain and then maintain the utilization of this process; Is greatly benefited with the help of a fellow traveler that has already been. The connection of a mentor builds upon our hope and will eventually lead to trust.
Just hearing the words, “Yea, me too.” They are incredibly comforting and inspiring and help us to stay the course. We are attempting to journey into the darkest corners of our psyche. Having someone to hold a flashlight for us is invaluable.
The pitfalls we may encounter seem too fierce to face. We have spent a lifetime keeping ourselves busy to avoid this journey. With a whole team of egos supporting us in the idea, ‘you need not go there. And yes, it is frightening to look our dragons in the eye and stop projecting our fears and our guilt onto others. BUT…
We must face the dragon if we want to become the butterfly.
Without facing the most feared aspects of ourselves, our hearts never find their wings, and our souls never get to fly.
The meaningless roar of the dragon, THAT IS NOT YOU, is only its attempt at hiding the inescapable beauty of the butterfly, THAT IS YOU.
The beauty beyond the door of fear that we vehemently resist passing through (a door made up entirely of the ego’s lies) is more breathtaking than anything we can even imagine. Please, take the hand of a trusted comrade and enter to find the truth of yourself.