Finding my voice has never been an issue for me. Finding something worth using my voice for has been the purpose for my life. I have always been a vocal person. Yes. I love to talk. I really love to talk about things that matter, the spiritual meaning to all of life, has always been a focus.
I love to teach. Unfortunately, I spent a good portion of my life teaching darkness and the ways of the ego. It ate away at my soul and left me empty. Actually, worse than empty, it left me wanting, I just had no idea what it was that I wanted. Ends up all I really wanted was to love and be loved and to know peace.
I have always been driven to learn about the human condition. What makes us do the things we do. I have learned to question everything! When I hear what seems to be a really cool quote, I dissect it before I take it on. “Does this fit with everything else I believe?” Some of the cute little sayings that we can be so prone to parrot; Are just that cute little sayings that hold no water, when put to the test.
Once I found the twelve-step rooms, I found a purpose for my voice. I loved the idea that all the pain that I had lived through could be used to help others. In the book Alcoholics Anonymous it says, “Will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.” This leads me to believe that my past is my greatest asset when used appropriately, to help others. If I close the door on it and act as if it never happened then all that experience was lived for naught. I refuse to allow that to be my story.
When I share the truth about my life, others identify. True identification fosters hope. I have learned that depression is the absence of hope. Hope is depression’s antidote. When I can use my voice, my story, to help others out of the darkness of depression by giving them hope then my life has meaning. Hearing others say after hearing my story, “You too?” Then my soul awakens and I am alive.