By the time most of us get to the place in our lives where we seek help in the Twelve Steps we feel beaten, defeated, and lost. Believing in ourselves seems almost impossible. By that time believing in anything becomes extremely difficult. Usually, we have chased after every external energy we could find to try to make our insides feel alive again. The pain and desperation of just trying to get through the day have become more than we seem able to bear.
Coming to believe in what? A power outside of us that will help? The same power that we have felt for how many years had abandoned us? Maybe we even felt that there was some deity that had been punishing us. Deep within each of us, we knew the real truth that we had actually abandoned ourselves.
Now we are being told by others that if we truly want to change our lives that we must come to believe… After being beaten to the point of surrender, humiliation, and hopelessness, we are told, “We must find hope.”
Many times, we had come to the point where to hope at all was frightening. Our experiences seem to have taught us that hope always led to disappointment. The disappointment only brought more pain and since our lives were totally lived to avoid pain we decided that hope was a dangerous thing.
If we can just open our minds to the possibility that maybe there is a way for us to change? Open-mindedness is the doorway to hope. Maybe becomes a vital word for us to hold onto. If we can somehow begin to think, maybe I have been wrong. Maybe there is something different?
When we allow ourselves to open up about the stories that have gone on in our heads that have kept us imprisoned and often tortured we can become connected. The connection will always foster hope.
I believe! That means I have accepted as true, that when we become sincere in our hearts that we can have a better life, be a better person, that we can and will be led to the ones that will help us.
Nothing changes that aren’t preceded with desire. When we truly desire to change, something shifts in us and what we are looking for in life changes. Once we begin to look for reasons to believe in the hope we will find them. We may get knocked down, maybe even several times but we decide to get back up.
If we continue to get back up, at some point our hope becomes the trust and then we know. Once we know our belief in self will have been returned and then we can live happy and peaceful lives.